


Creature Feature

by Vagrant_Blvrd



Series: Things That Go Bump in the Night [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Vampire Hunters, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 10:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21372418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vagrant_Blvrd/pseuds/Vagrant_Blvrd
Summary: Michael hisses when he gets grabbed and slammed up against the wall of a building.
Relationships: Ryan Haywood/Michael Jones
Series: Things That Go Bump in the Night [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817215
Comments: 5
Kudos: 111





	Creature Feature

**Author's Note:**

> Not the thing I planned to write today, and yet here we are. [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/188926578036)

Michael hisses when he gets grabbed and slammed up against the wall of a building. Just yanked right out of his bat out of hell running for his life thing he’s doing by an inconsiderate bastard with inhuman strength and thrown up against a rough brick wall, head hitting it with jarring force and a smug vampire asshole smirking at him once the starts clear from his eyes.

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters, grip on the stake in his hand shifting when he sees the fuckers who were chasing him skid to a stop when they realize what happened.

He watches them look at one another in confusion, young, newly turned and so out of the loop it’s kind of sad. A few days old at this point if he had to guess, match up against the news reports of missing people and bodies showing up.

Dangerous as fuck, what with the hunger for blood gnawing at their bellies and close to feral with it. More instinct at this point than anything else, but still thinking, reasoning beings. (Unless they choose not to be, which is what people like Michael are for.) 

Whoever sired them already dead or the kind of fucker who just doesn’t care, left them to fend for themselves without even a basic How To Vampire tutorial which is a dick move in and of itself, okay. Makes things harder on people like Michael who have to clean up their messes because -

A rough shake drags Michael's attention back to the real threat here.

Asshole who snagged him pelting past like it was nothing. Tall, broad-shouldered and that fucking _smirk_.

Pain in Michael’s ass from day one, thinks he’s – as Lindsay would say – all that and a bag of chips and infuriating as fuck. 

Old, too. 

Like.

Just unbelievably, incredibly old. Super fucking old. So old - 

The vampire scowls like he knows what Michael’s thinking and lifts Michael until his toes are barely touching the ground like he thinks that’s just so scary.

Michael gives him a smirk of his own, raises his hand to show off the stake he’s still holding. 

Not exactly a stalemate, because vampire strength and speed and everything else against pitiful human abilities, but like hell is he going to let the bastard think he’s intimidated. 

“Hey!”

It’s one of the baby vampires, voice rough with the effects of being turned. All that screaming they do when it’s ugly the way it must have been with this batch. 

Kids, all of them. College students in town to have a good time and running into trouble that got them dead...and then undead, and it’s a fucking mess to be honest. Happens way too often for anyone’s good no matter how hard Michael works to put a stop to it.

“He’s ours, get your own!” 

Baby vampire number two, hiding behind his buddies and trying to act tough because they outnumber the vampire that’s got Michael in his grip, sure, but goddamn are they dumb.

The vampire holding him growls, this deep rumbling thing and Michael knows what’s coming. Braces himself for it when the asshole flings him aside like he weighs nothing and moves towards the trio of baby vampires.

It’s a graceless affair on Michael’s part, goes sprawling, heart picking up as he hears the snarling and swearing and dying going on behind him as the older vampire tears into the baby ones. 

Too dangerous to be left to their own devices and unwilling to listen to reason, which always sucks, no pun intended.

Hurts a little to see even though Michael’s not supposed to care about that part. (Nowhere in the job description for being what he is.)

By the time he picks himself up it’s all but over. Older, experienced vampire facing down the leader of the baby vampires, other two unmoving on the ground.

The baby vampire looks down at his buddies, and then his gaze slides past the older vampire and locks onto Michael.

Stupid squishy human, and Michael has a moment to think _oh, Goddammit_, because this always fucking happens doesn’t it? And then the baby vampire flashes forward (fucking vampires and their fucking speed) intent on taking Michael down with him because sure, why the fuck not - 

And gets a rude awakening when the older vampire pulls the same trick with him he did with Michael.

Not so much a trick as that experience thing again, old enough to make the most of the reflexes he’s been granted and all that. 

Only this time, the asshole isn’t as gentle about it. 

No.

Grabs the stupid fucker and shoves him, right into the stake Michael’s holding out like he knew it would be there.

Michael grunts as the impact pushes him back a few steps and meets the baby vampire’s eyes.

The poor bastard looks shocked at this turn of events, like he didn’t think it would go like this for him. All that newfound strength, speed, and it didn’t do him a damn bit of good in the end.

Vampires don’t _poof_ the way they do in the movies, television shows. All the books people have written about them over the years.

Don’t crumble into dust blown away by a convenient gust of wind or gentle breeze all nice and neat and aesthetically pleasing or some bullshit.

They just die.

Ugly and messy and real.

Michael lets go of the stake, lets gravity do the work as the dead vampire falls to the ground.

Looks up at the sound of footsteps and gives ground when the older vampire advances on him. Pushes him up against the building again, less force to it this time.

“Hey,” Michael says as the vampire gets in his face to glare at him. “Fancy meeting you here.”

The vampire thumps him against the wall, a warning, and Michael snorts.

“Okay, so, are we fighting or are we flirting? Because I’m getting mixed signals here,” he says, hand coming up to rest against the asshole’s chest.

No heartbeat, just the steady thrum of whatever the hell keeps vampires going. Magic or something else, no one really knows anymore. 

Blood they drink circulating through their bodies and somethingsomethingsomething Unknowable Bullshit to explain what they _do_ know.

The vampire’s eyes narrow.

“My fangs are _literally inches_ from your throat right now.”

Yeah. 

Yeah they are.

By all rights Michael should be reaching for his backup stake, and Jesus, how ridiculous does that sound in his head? Should be going for it, drive it through the asshole’s chest right into his heart, but that would just be all kinds of rude and ill-mannered of him.

Also?

It would fuck up his dating life, or whatever the hell he should call it. (Aside from a blatant conflict of interests, but it’s not like there are rules forbidding something like this, so. Fuck off.)

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Michael says, and this time he laughs when the poor bastard sighs.

Tired. 

Long-suffering.

Expression on his face like he has no damn clue why he puts up with such an exasperating annoyance of a pest, and yet?

“Thanks for the save, but I had everything under control,” Michael says, and wriggles until the vampire lets him go. 

It’s not ego that has Michael saying that, just. Years of experience dealing with vampires and other things that go bump in the night. Being on his home turf, so to speak and knowing the area better than the poor bastards who made the mistake of thinking he looked like an easy target.

Wanting them away from any idiot who might get caught up in things, make a more tempting target, hostage, and complicate matters.

“You always say that,” the vampire accuses, eyes flicking to that nasty little scar on Michael's neck, souvenir from when he first started out and had no damn clue what he was getting himself into. 

That’s...not untrue.

Just.

“Shut up,” Michael says, because it’s not like the asshole doesn’t pull the same bullshit on him.

There’s another little stare-down, and then the vampire sighs. Again. Like dealing with Michael is an ordeal when it’s the exact opposite. He’s a fucking delight, okay.

Michael watches the vampire as he pinches the bridge of his nose, mutters to himself about idiot humans and one idiot vampire hunter in particular. Bane of his existence and so goddamned dumb it’s just. Real fucking sad.

Rolls his eyes as the asshole just keeps going on and on about it and dusts himself off. Checks to make sure his gear is all in order and runs a hand through his hair. Always a jumbled mess but with the earlier chase and being tossed around it’s in an even worse state.

Glances down at himself to make sure he’s more or less presentable and goes over to the idiot grumbling to himself.

Clears his throat to catch his attention and smiles when the asshole looks up at him. 

Annoyed expression because he’s worked himself up, hasn’t he. Forced to acknowledge the major mistake he’s made in getting involved with a disaster of a human being like Michael and everything that goes along with that.

“Hey,” he says, because third time’s the charm? “Got any plans for the rest of the night?”

There’s a moment where Michael thinks he’ll pick up his rambling rant about Michael and his stupidity again, but then he just. 

Sighs.

Shakes his head because he knows Michael’s stubborn as hell, and just real dumb too when it comes down to it.

Not about to change his ways even if it would be better for him in the long run. Cut down on medical costs at the very least.

“Well,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I doubt the restaurant held our reservation.”

Michael winces, because yes. Okay. That one’s definitely on him.

“Sorry about that,” he says. “Something came up.”

Michael on his way to meet up for their date and strange noises he heard down a dark alley. And yes, he knows that’s how horror movies start. Michael just has this whole thing going in his life where he does the exact opposite of what any sane person does in that situation.

And then vampires. Sometimes werewolves. Other times - 

Well.

There are a lot of things that go bump in the night and Michael’s one of the people around who deals with them when they crop up.

So.

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

Michael grins up at the asshole because he’s gone all soft and fond on him. Dopey little smile on his face that hits Michael the same way it always does because Ryan, Jesus, he’s a soft touch.

Plays at being this dark and menacing figure like out of all the worst movies you can find out there. Melodramatic bastards still stuck in their emo goth phase like you wouldn’t believe, but really?

Big old dork.

“I heard the theater down on Lincoln’s playing a Star Trek movie marathon,” he offers, and starts walking in that direction knowing Ryan will follow.

Better to leave the alley and the dead vampires behind before anyone sees them there, connects the dots and lands them in the kind of trouble they don’t need more of.

Ryan tips his head to the side, this dumb game he plays where he wants Michael to convince him. Toss in an incentive to give in to his inner nerd like it’d take much at this point.

Michael eyes him. Tries to figure out what it’ll take this time. 

Food-related, because _Ryan_. Still loves to eat even though it doesn’t sustain him the way blood does, but he’s got a definite weakness for it. Favorites. Things he loves in the most ridiculous ways.

“And, I’ll even spring for concessions.” Leans in with a little eyebrow waggle as he lowers his voice “All the diet soda you can drink.”

Ryan laughs, quiet little chuckle, and slides a look at Michael.

Old fucker, seen a lot of things in his time and for whatever reason sees something in Michael, which. Time to get his eyes checked, but whatever. 

Not Michael's call if he’s going to make a mistake like that, you know? (Enjoy it while he can and try not to think to hard on it in the meantime.)

Not his problem if Ryan’s got a thing for this scruffy little punk tossed into the deep end of things after moving out here, running into trouble and still neck deep in it. (No pun intended.)

Loud-mouthed and obnoxious about it, bound to get himself killed doing what he does one of these days, and no one’s fault but his own.

“_Fine_,” Ryan says, like it’s such a hardship to watch old Star Trek movies and guzzle down his beloved diet soda. An ordeal to do it with Michael right next to him heckling the hell out of the dumb movies they love so much. “If we must.”

Oh, how terrible it will be. The two of them in the dark watching quasi-terrible movies and enjoying themselves. 

The horror.

Ryan huffs, because he knows Michael pretty well by now. Knows he’s making fun of him in his head, and shoots him this little scowl like he thinks that will make him stop.

Which. 

_No._

“Impossible,” Ryan mutters, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and sulking, the big baby. “Absolutely impossible.”

Michael will give him that one, sure, but Ryan’s the one who keeps coming back for more, what the hell does that make him?


End file.
